And then began Leucothoe thus, hir sisters being whist:
This Sunne that with his streaming light al worldly things doth cheer
Was tane in love. Of Phebus loves now list and you shall heare.
It is reported that this God did first of all espie,
(For everie thing in Heaven and Earth is open to his eie.)
How Venus with the warlike Mars advoutrie did commit.
It grieved him to see the fact and so discovered it.
He shewed hir husband Junos sonne th’ advoutrie and the place. …
In which this privie scape was done. Who was in such a case
That heart and hand and all did faile in working for a space.
Anon he featly forgde a net of Wire so fine and slight,
That neyther knot nor nooze therein apparant was to sight.
This piece of worke was much more fine than any handwarpeoofe
Or that whereby the Spider hanges in sliding from the roofe
And furthermore the suttlenesse and slight thereof was such,
It followed every little pull and closde with every touch,
And so he set it handsomly about the haunted couch.
Now when that Venus and hir mate were met in bed togither …
Hir husband by his newfound snare before convayed thither
Did snarle them both togither fast in middes of all theyr play
And setting ope the Ivorie doores, callde all the Gods streight way
To see them: they with shame inough fast lockt togither lay.
A certaine God among the rest disposed for to sport
Did wish that he himselfe also were shamed in that sort.
The resdue laught and so in heaven there was no talke a while,
But of this Pageant how the Smith the lovers did beguile.

From Book IV of Arthur Golding’s translation of Ovid’s Metamorphoses

Someone will sooner or later discover your affair–and have a laugh, or in the case of an angry wife, part you of your balls.  But is there another meaning here, something astronomical, perhaps to do with a Venus-Mars conjunction, or something catastrophic?

Where there is a question, someone online will provide answers, and so without further delay, Starfucker presents:

image: wikipedia