Thomas Jefferson

Portrait of Thomas Jefferson by Rembrandt Peale.

Constitutional, liberty-promoting terrorist extraordinaire, invents the swivel chair.

If you are sitting on one now, think about your crime against humanity

not to mention your egregious carbon footprint.

Get off it right now, and find the most sportsmanlike way of surrendering

to your loving authorities

because the Feds are going to outlaw them too

just like they started outlawing liberty in 1863.

And if you have any complaints about that

an empty suit will disappear you.